Squat and Squabble

Zombie movies are terrifying. Tens or hundreds or thousands of the rotting undead, staggering toward the last surviving members of the human race in a quest to feast on their brains. The advantage for the defending humans is that zombies move at walking speed most of the time, and you can kill a zombie with a bullet to the head. (I never understood how you could kill something that is already dead, but I digress….)

The scariest thing about zombies is that there is just so darn many of them. Shoot one, behead another, blow some up, incinerate an entire crowd of them, and they keep coming and coming and coming. They don’t stop, and they won’t stop until either the last one has been dispatched back into permanent deadness, or they manage to eat all the brains of every last living human survivor.

We are witnessing a real-life political zombie experience these days. The embattled survivors are the Trump administration and their supporters, (“Conservivors”), and the zombies are the unrelenting brainless Democrats (“Demzombies“) who have no goal other than to destroy those deplorable Trumpish humans. It isn’t safe for Conservivors to step into any public spotlight, because brain-deprived Demzombies mill around outside every doorway in mindless groups, hoping to separate occasional errant Conservivors from the herd, and to cull them one-by-one.

Embattled Conservivors have realized that it is not particularly difficult to eradicate attacking Demzombies, because they move slowly, are not very bright, and every one of them behaves in exactly the same way. But the Conservivors have to stick together and be vigilant, and because they only have so many bullets in their bag of political capital, make sure that every single shot they fire finds its mark.

The real problem for Conservivors isn’t that Demzombies can’t be defeated (again), but that there are many tens of thousands of them, wielding burning-hot microphones, attacking with cutting hashtags, stabbing accusations, and eviscerating tweets – and they are coming for the Conservivors from every direction, every day, all the time.  Demzombies are always on a quest to pick the brains of Conservivors.

This one is turning out to be a real neck-biter nail-biter.

Just when you thought America couldn’t sink any lower, Kelly Anne Conway decided to sit on a couch and use her phone, while officials from historic black universities met in the oval office. Was she Facebooking ex-boyfriends from college? Maybe! Was she trying to find a hot senator on Tinder? Quite possibly! Was she ordering Trump’s afternoon cheeseburger on Uber Eats? I wouldn’t doubt it! The only thing we do know, is that the Liberal media quickly reported this “atrocity.” Yes, innocent families are dying from aerial strikes in Syria. Of course, Jeff Sessions neglected to mention his meetings with a Russian diplomat during his confirmation hearings. Yeah, there were 55 Major Human Rights violations reported within the first week of the Geneva Talks. But none of that matters, people. Kelly Anne’s feet being on the couch is a top priority that we should all focus on. Are you kidding me?

As a Democrat, I think we need to come back down to earth. Growing up, I was always told to pick my battles. By doing that, I could focus on more important issues and disregard minor B.S.. Instead of talking about actual problems, we’re harping on Kelly Anne’s feet being on the sofa? That’s like being pissed off at your buddy, Dave, for always putting his damn feet on the coffee table, and that problem becoming a story on a nationally televised news network. But hey, maybe I don’t want your bunions anywhere near the trail mix, David (#getdavesfeetofthetable2017). I think we can all acknowledge that it wasn’t the best move on her part, but she was just trying to snap a photo. Not to quote Trump, but now there were even some “So-called” journalists trying to somehow create a racial issue out of it. Sorry, but your credentials as a journalist should be revoked when you stop reporting the news and start squabbling over household etiquette.

If journalists want to earn their credibility back, then they need to stop reporting things that aren’t news. If you want to call out the Trump administration for lying to the American people, that’s fine. If you want to criticize Trump for his policies, go ahead. If you want to hold him accountable for what he says as our president, then do it.   But quit succumbing to the pissing contest that the Trump administration started. Based on some “alleged tapes” involving our beloved president and some Russian prostitutes, we can’t win that fight literally or figuratively.

When it comes to Kelly Anne herself, give the lady a break.  She may as well be featured on Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe for having to answer for Trump’s actions 24/7.